This is a really great piece on the idea of belonging. The questions you asked in it are so simple yet have so many different answers, each with many layers.
I also liked how you underlined the relationship between the particular and universal. Sometimes, when self-doubt creeps in, I say to myself "Who cares about your story?" Reading your words, however, helped me remind myself that my story, like any story, has value and is worth being told.
Hi Doga, thank you so much for being here, and sharing your thoughts on this! I really appreciate your observation of the many layers to the answers too. It got me to think, isn’t it often the seemingly simplest questions that are the hardest to answer - perhaps that also reflects that we care enough about the truthfulness of our answer (at least to ourselves) for us to want to think so hard and deeply about it.
I’m glad that the relationship between the particular and the universal resonated for you. That has definitely been one of the most important learnings I’ve had in my ongoing journey of finding and freeing my voice. I believe that the only person who needs to care about our story is ourself, the writer, and if we truly care enough, the rest takes care of itself (this reminds me of something Rick Rubin mentioned in The Creative Act too, about the creativity coming first, the artist coming second and the audience coming third). I’ve really valued reading the stories you’ve shared and I look forward to reading more
Hello Suyin! I definitely agree. Sometimes the simplest questions are not so simple to answer. I was listening to a podcast a while back and the guy on it (Tim Ferriss) defined himself as a "collector of questions" and it stuck with me ever since. I now have my own Word document where I write down the questions that either pop up in my head or I read somewhere. I'm starting to realize more and more that the better questions we can ask the better answers we can get.
Thanks again for the great piece. I am looking forward to reading your other articles!
Hi Doga, I fully agree with what you said about the significance of questions. For me too, I’ve found that asking the right questions is important before we go looking for the answers as otherwise we could end up with the “right” answers that aren’t actually right for us. I love your idea of creating a document to collect questions! I think the writing that will flow from those questions will be so significant too and it would be great to read what comes from that. Thank you for your kind words and for being here too! Looking forward to our continued exchange of ideas and inspiration 😊
Such a beautiful story on the journey of belonging, the travelling and settling and travelling again. How interesting is it that Earth is the home to us all, yet imaginary lines, illusions of separation and forces of oppression can leave us feeling like we don’t belong. Thank you so much for sharing this vulnerable piece and the embodied memories of all the homes that live within you. 🤍
Thank you so much, Jennae!! I agree, I’ve always felt such a warm and comforting sense of home in nature, when I feel so connected to Earth, and I feel like so many of the man-made cracks that we see today are rooted in such a profound amnesia of this. I so appreciate your beautiful words, as always. The idea of the “embodied memories of all the homes that live within” me is one I treasure and will keep with me as the journey continues unfolding. Thank you! ❤️
There are so many gems in this essay. As I collect them in my pocket, the clattering sounds they make resonate with the melody of my innermost being:
“I can’t find out who I am, or what my way home is, without remembering where I have come from.”
— Alas, I spent so much of my life feeling lost, because I tried to forget where I came from.
“I was saying those words to myself — the me that I rejected in order to be accepted, the me that I denied in order to belong, the me that wanted to prove to everyone that I was better than how I appeared to be, or was expected to be.”
— Same here! I have abandoned myself in shaming and rejecting my own ethnic and cultural identity for decades. All in an attempt to avoid being “othered” and rejected. But no matter how hard I tried, the “otherness” never really went away. So now I’m embracing it and turning it into my uniqueness.
“I’m not who you think I am, ok? I will be better than whoever you think I am.”
— Arghh! This explains the constant striving in my life as an immigrant.
“I can be both parts of this and I can be parts of that, together, all at once. “
— Yes! Our multiple identities aren’t mutually exclusive. It’s not a zero sum game.
Thank you for all of your profound insights! They are like a mirror to my soul.
Hi Louisa, thank you so much for your powerful personal shares and reflections, and the poetic way in which you've written about it here. I'm really moved to hear about how you experienced many of the same struggles and challenges, and I admire all the ways you have shifted your perspective to now embrace all of who you are, which shines the way for others to do the same. It's so inspiring to witness the courage and authenticity with which you now write about similar themes on your Substack too, and it truly fills my heart to know that you find a mirror for your soul in my writing. I really appreciate you being here and sharing!
Hi Rachel, thank you for reading and sharing your experiences with exploring these same themes! It was so meaningful and resonant to read your latest post about identity and belonging too, and how you navigate your Chinese heritage and Malaysian nationality both within Malaysia and out in the world. I feel like a big part of finding belonging while owning and claiming complex and intersectional identities lies in finding spaces and communities that understand and accommodate the nuances of all the different shades and layers of our being, our memories, and our experiences. So I've been really grateful for being able to create and be part of such spaces, whether in real life or online. I'm so glad to hear that you feel inspired to write a post on your story - I'm so looking forward to reading it! And it's so nice to know how we share similar memories of growing up in our neighbouring countries - over the years of travelling and moving abroad, meeting and becoming friends with both Singaporeans and Malaysians who are overseas have really shown me the special bond we have in common even while recognizing that we are, after all, "same same but different" :)
I am just starting out to meet people like you and it has been reinvigorating indeed. I would love to find/join/create such spaces and communities too, to find my belonging in this world.
Yes, it's nice to see we have so many similarities, I believe our shared Chinese heritage ties us here :).
Hi Rachel, I agree and I think it would be wonderful to explore co-creating a space like that too, if you’d be up for it 😊 And yes, celebrating our shared heritage too in all the different ways ✨ I just wrote a new piece reflecting on my latest return to Singapore (and my maternal grandmother’s roots in Malaysia) that I will publish in the next day or so. Looking forward to more exchanges with you!
that’s so touching, raw and beautiful! thank you Suyin!
Thank you so much for being here and sharing this, Laís! 🫶🏻🪴☁️
Hello Suyin,
This is a really great piece on the idea of belonging. The questions you asked in it are so simple yet have so many different answers, each with many layers.
I also liked how you underlined the relationship between the particular and universal. Sometimes, when self-doubt creeps in, I say to myself "Who cares about your story?" Reading your words, however, helped me remind myself that my story, like any story, has value and is worth being told.
Hi Doga, thank you so much for being here, and sharing your thoughts on this! I really appreciate your observation of the many layers to the answers too. It got me to think, isn’t it often the seemingly simplest questions that are the hardest to answer - perhaps that also reflects that we care enough about the truthfulness of our answer (at least to ourselves) for us to want to think so hard and deeply about it.
I’m glad that the relationship between the particular and the universal resonated for you. That has definitely been one of the most important learnings I’ve had in my ongoing journey of finding and freeing my voice. I believe that the only person who needs to care about our story is ourself, the writer, and if we truly care enough, the rest takes care of itself (this reminds me of something Rick Rubin mentioned in The Creative Act too, about the creativity coming first, the artist coming second and the audience coming third). I’ve really valued reading the stories you’ve shared and I look forward to reading more
Hello Suyin! I definitely agree. Sometimes the simplest questions are not so simple to answer. I was listening to a podcast a while back and the guy on it (Tim Ferriss) defined himself as a "collector of questions" and it stuck with me ever since. I now have my own Word document where I write down the questions that either pop up in my head or I read somewhere. I'm starting to realize more and more that the better questions we can ask the better answers we can get.
Thanks again for the great piece. I am looking forward to reading your other articles!
Hi Doga, I fully agree with what you said about the significance of questions. For me too, I’ve found that asking the right questions is important before we go looking for the answers as otherwise we could end up with the “right” answers that aren’t actually right for us. I love your idea of creating a document to collect questions! I think the writing that will flow from those questions will be so significant too and it would be great to read what comes from that. Thank you for your kind words and for being here too! Looking forward to our continued exchange of ideas and inspiration 😊
Such a beautiful story on the journey of belonging, the travelling and settling and travelling again. How interesting is it that Earth is the home to us all, yet imaginary lines, illusions of separation and forces of oppression can leave us feeling like we don’t belong. Thank you so much for sharing this vulnerable piece and the embodied memories of all the homes that live within you. 🤍
Thank you so much, Jennae!! I agree, I’ve always felt such a warm and comforting sense of home in nature, when I feel so connected to Earth, and I feel like so many of the man-made cracks that we see today are rooted in such a profound amnesia of this. I so appreciate your beautiful words, as always. The idea of the “embodied memories of all the homes that live within” me is one I treasure and will keep with me as the journey continues unfolding. Thank you! ❤️
There are so many gems in this essay. As I collect them in my pocket, the clattering sounds they make resonate with the melody of my innermost being:
“I can’t find out who I am, or what my way home is, without remembering where I have come from.”
— Alas, I spent so much of my life feeling lost, because I tried to forget where I came from.
“I was saying those words to myself — the me that I rejected in order to be accepted, the me that I denied in order to belong, the me that wanted to prove to everyone that I was better than how I appeared to be, or was expected to be.”
— Same here! I have abandoned myself in shaming and rejecting my own ethnic and cultural identity for decades. All in an attempt to avoid being “othered” and rejected. But no matter how hard I tried, the “otherness” never really went away. So now I’m embracing it and turning it into my uniqueness.
“I’m not who you think I am, ok? I will be better than whoever you think I am.”
— Arghh! This explains the constant striving in my life as an immigrant.
“I can be both parts of this and I can be parts of that, together, all at once. “
— Yes! Our multiple identities aren’t mutually exclusive. It’s not a zero sum game.
Thank you for all of your profound insights! They are like a mirror to my soul.
Hi Louisa, thank you so much for your powerful personal shares and reflections, and the poetic way in which you've written about it here. I'm really moved to hear about how you experienced many of the same struggles and challenges, and I admire all the ways you have shifted your perspective to now embrace all of who you are, which shines the way for others to do the same. It's so inspiring to witness the courage and authenticity with which you now write about similar themes on your Substack too, and it truly fills my heart to know that you find a mirror for your soul in my writing. I really appreciate you being here and sharing!
Beautiful read :) Thank you for sharing your path in finding who you are and where you are from. The latter I have contemplate in my recent post.
You make me think now too, what is my story? It might inspire a post from me! Thanks :)
And I love the story at Trust at Travel, reminds me of so many similar vivid memories I have when growing up in Malaysia.
Hi Rachel, thank you for reading and sharing your experiences with exploring these same themes! It was so meaningful and resonant to read your latest post about identity and belonging too, and how you navigate your Chinese heritage and Malaysian nationality both within Malaysia and out in the world. I feel like a big part of finding belonging while owning and claiming complex and intersectional identities lies in finding spaces and communities that understand and accommodate the nuances of all the different shades and layers of our being, our memories, and our experiences. So I've been really grateful for being able to create and be part of such spaces, whether in real life or online. I'm so glad to hear that you feel inspired to write a post on your story - I'm so looking forward to reading it! And it's so nice to know how we share similar memories of growing up in our neighbouring countries - over the years of travelling and moving abroad, meeting and becoming friends with both Singaporeans and Malaysians who are overseas have really shown me the special bond we have in common even while recognizing that we are, after all, "same same but different" :)
I am just starting out to meet people like you and it has been reinvigorating indeed. I would love to find/join/create such spaces and communities too, to find my belonging in this world.
Yes, it's nice to see we have so many similarities, I believe our shared Chinese heritage ties us here :).
Hi Rachel, I agree and I think it would be wonderful to explore co-creating a space like that too, if you’d be up for it 😊 And yes, celebrating our shared heritage too in all the different ways ✨ I just wrote a new piece reflecting on my latest return to Singapore (and my maternal grandmother’s roots in Malaysia) that I will publish in the next day or so. Looking forward to more exchanges with you!
Hi Suyin, sounds great, would love to co-create, let's get in touch :) I can't wait to read your reflections.
Thank you for articulating so well my shared feelings Suyin 🤍
It’s so uplifting to know we’re not alone in how we feel 🥹 thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and being here, Nathalie! 💛🌿✨