Your writing is special Suyin. It’s so sophisticated, looking at details, like something we don’t take time for anymore. It feels analog, like turning my screen into a printed book, like the air slowly cooling down after a hot afternoon on a vacation somewhere with cypress trees. I have no idea why but that’s what it makes me feel🤍🤍🤍
Anna, thank you so much!! Wow, I’m truly so moved and honoured by your description of how you feel from reading my writing – it’s like its own poem! I love it so much – it’s such a beautiful gift to receive and the images and sensations you describe inspire me a lot. I’m so grateful to you for reading and sharing this, and just for your precious presence here, always, from the very beginning <3 <3 <3
There’s so much I’d like to say, first off, I absolutely adore this kaleidoscope thread you’ve weaved. There is one line that really resonated with me (although I really enjoyed reading it all — especially the bits of you and your amah & In the Mood for Love) and it was this — Mine comes in pink, in a million little pieces. I’m a tri-culture kid (I haven’t lived in as many places as you) but I know what it feels like to call several places home. So so beautiful. 🤍🌙
Joscelyne, thank you so much!! It’s very special to me to hear what this piece meant to you, and to know which line especially touched you. I’m so happy that you liked the kaleidoscope thread running through it too – it was a very inspiring and healing metaphor for me, in addition to my writing. I really appreciate you reading, being here and sharing your reflections! <3
Oh Suyin, your writing is always so moving and I long to hold it in my hands so I can trace my fingers over the shapes and swells of your words. I can’t wait to have a book of yours in my palms one day.
This line really touched my soul “I looked and thought they were beautiful. They were my grandmother’s feet.” You captured that beautiful innocent gaze of a child that the world tries to snatch from us. Reading that made me feel like I was four years old again.
I also adore the section “Waiting for the rain.” The city crying and holding so many stories.
I wrote the other week about a bridge in a far off city I’ve never been to and probably never will. I don’t even know where it is. I imagined all the cars driving across it filled with stories I’ll never know.
This part of your writing captured that feeling I had even better and more poetically. I think I will always think of it now when it rains in the city. That the city is secretly crying all the pain that is held in the bodies it contains. Think of all the souls watching the water drip down windows and bounce off concrete, soaking a million pairs of feet. So stunning.
You have this incredible gift of evoking feeling within the reader, a gift I’m not entirely sure can be taught, only can exist when the author moves through the world feeling so deeply herself. Something that must be shared with the world. We need people like you that wake us up. That turn the blurring colours outside the window of a moving train into vibrant details moving in slow motion.
My dear Jennae, I’m listening to “Jupiter” from your playlist as I soak in the warm golden glow here of your words, friendship and beautiful soul!! My heart always feels like she’s dancing under the stars when I read your gorgeous, poetic reflections on my writing – you have a way of reflecting my own heart back to me in a way that helps me hear her even more clearly and deeply. It truly means so much to me.
I loved hearing about the parts of this piece that touched you. The story about my grandmother is the beating heart of the story for me, and it means so much to hear what you shared about it. And I really adore the sound of the poem you wrote about a bridge in a far away city – it sounds so beautiful, and if you are open to sharing it, I feel it would be so special for it to be part of the story kaleidoscope here that we can create from the responses to this piece.
Thank you so much for your friendship, and for always helping to keep alight the fire for the writer in me – it means the world on this crazy and beautiful journey. I do dream of collecting my writing into a book one day, and now I’m expanding that dream – I’m imagining our books being friends and sitting together on the window shelf of a little mobile bookshop on wheels by the ocean, and then us taking our books to read them to each other by the ocean, one day, as we had talked about earlier :’)
Awww this is the most beautiful heart warming comment ever. Having our books next to each other in a mobile bookshop by the ocean and then reading them to each other is the most beautiful dream!!! 🥹🥹😭😭 Let’s make it come true!! 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
😭😭😭🩵🩵🩵 yes please, of course!!! This is going to be what I come back to always to inspire me to keep moving towards our ocean poetry day 🥹🥹🥹💙💙💙 so much love to you my dear friend!! ✨✨✨
Suyin, how do I begin? You have weaved together another beautiful piece. I don’t know if the kaleidoscope was an homage to the scenes of your story, but that is how I received it. All your stories reflect back on themselves with vibrant color and significance, especially ones like the one you told about your grandmother. They are a part of your fabric, that is undeniable.
When I think of kaleidoscopes, I think of childhood. I think of those little cheap ones made of carton, I would have access to, and just how wonderful it was to peek inside of them. My mind is always moving faster than I would like, so as an adult I began to doodle. During the pandemic I drew and colored my own mandalas (it was just a few). Creating symmetry calmed me. I will share one later with you in our personal correspondence. The mandala’s remind me a little of the kaleidoscope images and the bountiful wonder one holds as a child; a feeling I always seek.
A few more things I loved: Powle and yourself finding patterns that reminded you of the cheongsam dresses in everyday objects of your culture, your grandma’s voice explaining why she carried you, and the description of Charlotte (from the film Lost in Translation) searching for something through different lenses, “waiting for it to turn into something”.
Your writing is that something, Suyin. May you continue to compose these wonderful pieces.
P.S. I love that photo of the two flower pots with the textured wall behind them and that clear line separating the shadow and the light.
Dear Helen, I’m so moved to read what you have shared here, and I’m always admiring the beauty of your reflections, ideas and threads that bloom here in your responses to words I share.
I found myself starting to think about kaleidoscopes after I began writing about the aesthetic and emotional connections I felt between the two films, and that got me to start researching the invention and history of the kaleidoscope, which in turn helped me extract and distill those other colours, patterns and textures of various pieces and memories of my life and childhood. And then looking at them all together, I realized that the whole journey I had been through with writing this piece (starting from the seeds of inspiration that sparked it all off) helped me feel whole again. Thank you for your witnessing and sharing that all of these are part of my fabric – that is an idea I will hold close to me.
And thank you so much for sharing your beautiful mandala drawing with me! I really loved hearing about your own childhood encounters with kaleidoscopes, the aesthetic and emotional connection you felt between kaleidoscopes and mandalas, and the calm that the symmetry in mandalas brought into your life. I share these feelings with you too. I had a magical experience drawing a mandala of my own during the yoga teacher training I had mentioned in my comment on your latest post. I’ll try to find it so I can share that with you too.
And it means so much to my heart to hear about your favourite parts of the story – each of those parts, especially my grandmother’s voice, are all so precious to me. And I’m truly moved beyond words to hear how it connects back for you to my writing – I’m so, so grateful to you for being here, and sharing your reflections and feelings in these shimmering, kaleidoscopic ways, always.
p.s. I’m so happy you love that photo! It was from my visit to the Alhambra in Granada during my solo travel there in April 2022. I’m not sure if I realized how I was setting up the photo composition in that way when I took it, but I’m finding that whenever I write and I’m seeking an image that resonates with how I feel as I write, there’s usually an image from a photo I had taken in the past that surfaces for me, and that ends up adding a whole new layer to what I’ve written. It’s why I always feel my photos are part of the story too. Thank you so much for noticing and appreciating it!
Dear Suyin, for some reason I just saw this reply ! Is it just me, but are all of our conversations so far, a kaleidoscope of their own ? There are pieces of our dialogue in different places 😆 -e-mails, blog comments , DMs, and I admit I treasure all of them . I really love reading about your artistic process and the beautiful journey that started with thoughts on aesthetics and emotions (and how you choose from your archives of amazing photos !) I also appreciate your kind words on my freestyle mandala, I had more of them but unsure what I did with them, maybe it’s time for another freestyle ☺️
Hi Helen, yesss our conversations are a special kaleidoscope of their own for sure! I just went and added some new coloured glass objects to our conversation kaleidoscope ✨☺️ I treasure them all too. Thank you for being here always and joining me on my creative process and journey 💜
I feel like whatever I write will be too small to reach the depth of this piece😭 all I can say is it touched me again and again while reading it, making it hard for a favorite part to stand out. it was like a warm hug of nostalgia and beauty, all of it. I love your ability to go into detail in your writing and explore the very essence of something, this is, I believe, what evokes such complex feelings in the reader as well🕊️ Seeing the Greek words in there, signifying a little piece of home for me, felt like an invitation to explore whether they are my owns kaleidoscopes, helping me reflect back at my home through their beauty and mundanity🩵🤍 thank you for sharing your art with us💭
Thank you so much for your kind and precious words, Nadia!! It means so much to hear about your heart's response, and to know that my writing could be a warm hug of nostalgia and beauty for you is everything! I'm so glad you enjoy the exploration of detail and essence, and I love the insight you shared about how this connects to complex feelings being evoked - that's really how I find myself getting to know and understand life too. And it warms my heart to know that this essay includes pieces of your own home and reflections of your Greek heritage - I look forward to hearing any discoveries from your own explorations <3 I appreciate you so much for reading and being here :')
Suyin, there is something about the way you weave your words together that moves me deeply - ever since the first of your messages in our group chat, I noticed your writing was rich and beautiful and special.
I so relate to you and know the intricacies of trying to build a home away from home while acknowledging the "you" that left is no longer the same "you", even if you decided to go back. I have found that a new place entails not only a process of adaptation to the new environment but, too, a journey of self-(re)discovery. How preciously you put this feeling into words - "it felt like there were a million pieces of me, swimming by themselves all around the world... And I didn’t know how to begin to collect them back together to be one whole me."
I loved the kaleidoscope format, by the way. Thank you for this exquisite piece.
Hola Flor, thank you so much for your beautiful message about my writing - your words really lifted me up during a bit of an emotionally challenging time in the past days. It really means a lot to hear of your deep connection with what I wrote, and I'm so grateful to you for sharing your story too. I resonate so much with how a new place in a way shakes up an existing version of us, and gets us to find / remember a different way to show up in the world, in response to all that we experience in that new place. Sending love as you continue to build your home away from home too - it's so comforting to know we're not alone in this. And it brings me joy to hear that you enjoyed the kaleidoscope format and this piece! Thank you for reading and being here <3 <3 With love from Portugal!
I really felt like I've been walked through a kaleidoscope as I read through your piece. It was beautiful, spinning my thoughts and reflecting it into beautiful patterns, which cannot be interpret immediately, but yet mesmerizes.
The glimpse of you and your grandma brought me back immediately to my Ah Ma and me. Be still, my heart.
Hi Rachel, the way you so beautifully describe your experience of reading this piece through the metaphor of the kaleidoscope moves me so much and is so special to me - thank you!! You can't imagine how much this means to me. I'm thinking of you and your Ah Ma too as I write this - that's one of the most precious and special bonds in the world :') Looking forward to witnessing and admiring some of the beautiful patterns that were reflected for you, if you do decide to weave them into words one day too. Thank you for reading and being here, as always <3 <3
This whole piece is just stunning, Suyin. Wow. So full of beauty & light & longing. And I love that you’ve written about Lost in Translation and In the Mood for Love: both of which are amongst my favourites. 🌻
Thank you so much, Trivarna!! 💙 That means so much to me, coming from someone whose way with words I so admire 🥲 I’m so touched that you read this and loved it, and how beautiful to know of our shared love for both these films. I’m so looking forward to exploring In The Mood for Love in new ways with you in relation to food writing! 😍✨
That’s so kind of you to say. I do love those films, and I can’t wait to explore Wong Kar-Wai with you too! Really looking forward to it.
I also love Lost in Translation. Your beautiful piece has made me love it even more - has made me want to re-watch it. What a lovely interpretation of the “glass-like” quality of Lost in Translation. So apt and true. ✨
Thank you so much, Tiffany! I really appreciate you being here, and I'm so touched by the incredibly thoughtful way you approach reading and reflecting on my writing. Your words and share of this piece in your Asian Reads curation (https://asianwriters.substack.com/p/asian-writers-collective-intimate-essays) truly means everything to me <3
Your writing is special Suyin. It’s so sophisticated, looking at details, like something we don’t take time for anymore. It feels analog, like turning my screen into a printed book, like the air slowly cooling down after a hot afternoon on a vacation somewhere with cypress trees. I have no idea why but that’s what it makes me feel🤍🤍🤍
Yes!! This is such a good description!!!
Anna, thank you so much!! Wow, I’m truly so moved and honoured by your description of how you feel from reading my writing – it’s like its own poem! I love it so much – it’s such a beautiful gift to receive and the images and sensations you describe inspire me a lot. I’m so grateful to you for reading and sharing this, and just for your precious presence here, always, from the very beginning <3 <3 <3
Thank you for making your art, Suyin🩶
There’s so much I’d like to say, first off, I absolutely adore this kaleidoscope thread you’ve weaved. There is one line that really resonated with me (although I really enjoyed reading it all — especially the bits of you and your amah & In the Mood for Love) and it was this — Mine comes in pink, in a million little pieces. I’m a tri-culture kid (I haven’t lived in as many places as you) but I know what it feels like to call several places home. So so beautiful. 🤍🌙
Joscelyne, thank you so much!! It’s very special to me to hear what this piece meant to you, and to know which line especially touched you. I’m so happy that you liked the kaleidoscope thread running through it too – it was a very inspiring and healing metaphor for me, in addition to my writing. I really appreciate you reading, being here and sharing your reflections! <3
Oh Suyin, your writing is always so moving and I long to hold it in my hands so I can trace my fingers over the shapes and swells of your words. I can’t wait to have a book of yours in my palms one day.
This line really touched my soul “I looked and thought they were beautiful. They were my grandmother’s feet.” You captured that beautiful innocent gaze of a child that the world tries to snatch from us. Reading that made me feel like I was four years old again.
I also adore the section “Waiting for the rain.” The city crying and holding so many stories.
I wrote the other week about a bridge in a far off city I’ve never been to and probably never will. I don’t even know where it is. I imagined all the cars driving across it filled with stories I’ll never know.
This part of your writing captured that feeling I had even better and more poetically. I think I will always think of it now when it rains in the city. That the city is secretly crying all the pain that is held in the bodies it contains. Think of all the souls watching the water drip down windows and bounce off concrete, soaking a million pairs of feet. So stunning.
You have this incredible gift of evoking feeling within the reader, a gift I’m not entirely sure can be taught, only can exist when the author moves through the world feeling so deeply herself. Something that must be shared with the world. We need people like you that wake us up. That turn the blurring colours outside the window of a moving train into vibrant details moving in slow motion.
You are one of a kind my dear friend.
My dear Jennae, I’m listening to “Jupiter” from your playlist as I soak in the warm golden glow here of your words, friendship and beautiful soul!! My heart always feels like she’s dancing under the stars when I read your gorgeous, poetic reflections on my writing – you have a way of reflecting my own heart back to me in a way that helps me hear her even more clearly and deeply. It truly means so much to me.
I loved hearing about the parts of this piece that touched you. The story about my grandmother is the beating heart of the story for me, and it means so much to hear what you shared about it. And I really adore the sound of the poem you wrote about a bridge in a far away city – it sounds so beautiful, and if you are open to sharing it, I feel it would be so special for it to be part of the story kaleidoscope here that we can create from the responses to this piece.
Thank you so much for your friendship, and for always helping to keep alight the fire for the writer in me – it means the world on this crazy and beautiful journey. I do dream of collecting my writing into a book one day, and now I’m expanding that dream – I’m imagining our books being friends and sitting together on the window shelf of a little mobile bookshop on wheels by the ocean, and then us taking our books to read them to each other by the ocean, one day, as we had talked about earlier :’)
Awww this is the most beautiful heart warming comment ever. Having our books next to each other in a mobile bookshop by the ocean and then reading them to each other is the most beautiful dream!!! 🥹🥹😭😭 Let’s make it come true!! 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
😭😭😭🩵🩵🩵 yes please, of course!!! This is going to be what I come back to always to inspire me to keep moving towards our ocean poetry day 🥹🥹🥹💙💙💙 so much love to you my dear friend!! ✨✨✨
Suyin, how do I begin? You have weaved together another beautiful piece. I don’t know if the kaleidoscope was an homage to the scenes of your story, but that is how I received it. All your stories reflect back on themselves with vibrant color and significance, especially ones like the one you told about your grandmother. They are a part of your fabric, that is undeniable.
When I think of kaleidoscopes, I think of childhood. I think of those little cheap ones made of carton, I would have access to, and just how wonderful it was to peek inside of them. My mind is always moving faster than I would like, so as an adult I began to doodle. During the pandemic I drew and colored my own mandalas (it was just a few). Creating symmetry calmed me. I will share one later with you in our personal correspondence. The mandala’s remind me a little of the kaleidoscope images and the bountiful wonder one holds as a child; a feeling I always seek.
A few more things I loved: Powle and yourself finding patterns that reminded you of the cheongsam dresses in everyday objects of your culture, your grandma’s voice explaining why she carried you, and the description of Charlotte (from the film Lost in Translation) searching for something through different lenses, “waiting for it to turn into something”.
Your writing is that something, Suyin. May you continue to compose these wonderful pieces.
P.S. I love that photo of the two flower pots with the textured wall behind them and that clear line separating the shadow and the light.
Dear Helen, I’m so moved to read what you have shared here, and I’m always admiring the beauty of your reflections, ideas and threads that bloom here in your responses to words I share.
I found myself starting to think about kaleidoscopes after I began writing about the aesthetic and emotional connections I felt between the two films, and that got me to start researching the invention and history of the kaleidoscope, which in turn helped me extract and distill those other colours, patterns and textures of various pieces and memories of my life and childhood. And then looking at them all together, I realized that the whole journey I had been through with writing this piece (starting from the seeds of inspiration that sparked it all off) helped me feel whole again. Thank you for your witnessing and sharing that all of these are part of my fabric – that is an idea I will hold close to me.
And thank you so much for sharing your beautiful mandala drawing with me! I really loved hearing about your own childhood encounters with kaleidoscopes, the aesthetic and emotional connection you felt between kaleidoscopes and mandalas, and the calm that the symmetry in mandalas brought into your life. I share these feelings with you too. I had a magical experience drawing a mandala of my own during the yoga teacher training I had mentioned in my comment on your latest post. I’ll try to find it so I can share that with you too.
And it means so much to my heart to hear about your favourite parts of the story – each of those parts, especially my grandmother’s voice, are all so precious to me. And I’m truly moved beyond words to hear how it connects back for you to my writing – I’m so, so grateful to you for being here, and sharing your reflections and feelings in these shimmering, kaleidoscopic ways, always.
p.s. I’m so happy you love that photo! It was from my visit to the Alhambra in Granada during my solo travel there in April 2022. I’m not sure if I realized how I was setting up the photo composition in that way when I took it, but I’m finding that whenever I write and I’m seeking an image that resonates with how I feel as I write, there’s usually an image from a photo I had taken in the past that surfaces for me, and that ends up adding a whole new layer to what I’ve written. It’s why I always feel my photos are part of the story too. Thank you so much for noticing and appreciating it!
Dear Suyin, for some reason I just saw this reply ! Is it just me, but are all of our conversations so far, a kaleidoscope of their own ? There are pieces of our dialogue in different places 😆 -e-mails, blog comments , DMs, and I admit I treasure all of them . I really love reading about your artistic process and the beautiful journey that started with thoughts on aesthetics and emotions (and how you choose from your archives of amazing photos !) I also appreciate your kind words on my freestyle mandala, I had more of them but unsure what I did with them, maybe it’s time for another freestyle ☺️
Hi Helen, yesss our conversations are a special kaleidoscope of their own for sure! I just went and added some new coloured glass objects to our conversation kaleidoscope ✨☺️ I treasure them all too. Thank you for being here always and joining me on my creative process and journey 💜
I feel like whatever I write will be too small to reach the depth of this piece😭 all I can say is it touched me again and again while reading it, making it hard for a favorite part to stand out. it was like a warm hug of nostalgia and beauty, all of it. I love your ability to go into detail in your writing and explore the very essence of something, this is, I believe, what evokes such complex feelings in the reader as well🕊️ Seeing the Greek words in there, signifying a little piece of home for me, felt like an invitation to explore whether they are my owns kaleidoscopes, helping me reflect back at my home through their beauty and mundanity🩵🤍 thank you for sharing your art with us💭
Thank you so much for your kind and precious words, Nadia!! It means so much to hear about your heart's response, and to know that my writing could be a warm hug of nostalgia and beauty for you is everything! I'm so glad you enjoy the exploration of detail and essence, and I love the insight you shared about how this connects to complex feelings being evoked - that's really how I find myself getting to know and understand life too. And it warms my heart to know that this essay includes pieces of your own home and reflections of your Greek heritage - I look forward to hearing any discoveries from your own explorations <3 I appreciate you so much for reading and being here :')
😭😭im so glad to have found your precious writings and to be able to witness your art🤍 thank you for making me feel such beauty in my heart!!
😭😭🩵🩵 thank you Nadia!! That means so much to my heart 🥹🥹
Suyin, there is something about the way you weave your words together that moves me deeply - ever since the first of your messages in our group chat, I noticed your writing was rich and beautiful and special.
I so relate to you and know the intricacies of trying to build a home away from home while acknowledging the "you" that left is no longer the same "you", even if you decided to go back. I have found that a new place entails not only a process of adaptation to the new environment but, too, a journey of self-(re)discovery. How preciously you put this feeling into words - "it felt like there were a million pieces of me, swimming by themselves all around the world... And I didn’t know how to begin to collect them back together to be one whole me."
I loved the kaleidoscope format, by the way. Thank you for this exquisite piece.
With love from Holland,
Flor
Hola Flor, thank you so much for your beautiful message about my writing - your words really lifted me up during a bit of an emotionally challenging time in the past days. It really means a lot to hear of your deep connection with what I wrote, and I'm so grateful to you for sharing your story too. I resonate so much with how a new place in a way shakes up an existing version of us, and gets us to find / remember a different way to show up in the world, in response to all that we experience in that new place. Sending love as you continue to build your home away from home too - it's so comforting to know we're not alone in this. And it brings me joy to hear that you enjoyed the kaleidoscope format and this piece! Thank you for reading and being here <3 <3 With love from Portugal!
I really felt like I've been walked through a kaleidoscope as I read through your piece. It was beautiful, spinning my thoughts and reflecting it into beautiful patterns, which cannot be interpret immediately, but yet mesmerizes.
The glimpse of you and your grandma brought me back immediately to my Ah Ma and me. Be still, my heart.
Hi Rachel, the way you so beautifully describe your experience of reading this piece through the metaphor of the kaleidoscope moves me so much and is so special to me - thank you!! You can't imagine how much this means to me. I'm thinking of you and your Ah Ma too as I write this - that's one of the most precious and special bonds in the world :') Looking forward to witnessing and admiring some of the beautiful patterns that were reflected for you, if you do decide to weave them into words one day too. Thank you for reading and being here, as always <3 <3
This whole piece is just stunning, Suyin. Wow. So full of beauty & light & longing. And I love that you’ve written about Lost in Translation and In the Mood for Love: both of which are amongst my favourites. 🌻
Thank you so much, Trivarna!! 💙 That means so much to me, coming from someone whose way with words I so admire 🥲 I’m so touched that you read this and loved it, and how beautiful to know of our shared love for both these films. I’m so looking forward to exploring In The Mood for Love in new ways with you in relation to food writing! 😍✨
That’s so kind of you to say. I do love those films, and I can’t wait to explore Wong Kar-Wai with you too! Really looking forward to it.
I also love Lost in Translation. Your beautiful piece has made me love it even more - has made me want to re-watch it. What a lovely interpretation of the “glass-like” quality of Lost in Translation. So apt and true. ✨
Atmospheric and gorgeous, Suyin.
Thank you so much, Tiffany! I really appreciate you being here, and I'm so touched by the incredibly thoughtful way you approach reading and reflecting on my writing. Your words and share of this piece in your Asian Reads curation (https://asianwriters.substack.com/p/asian-writers-collective-intimate-essays) truly means everything to me <3